Are our children ready to survive the month of isolation with dignity? What coronavirus can teach us

Modern children are significantly different from children of the late XX century. They are more well-read, sociable ... and much more helpless. They know how lizards breathe and how the new iPhone model differs from the old, but they don’t understand how to stop the blood, how to cook rice and how much the antibacterial soap costs. Victoria Shimanskaya, doctor of psychology, an expert on the development of emotional intelligence, tells what we can teach the child in another month of self-isolation.



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Why did this happen? Perhaps because humanity has not encountered real difficulties for a long time. It’s great that we don’t have to survive and we can sincerely worry and worry that the child will get little of our attention or he will go to the wrong university. Cool difficulties for good times! But now, when our health is at stake, and not just well-being (or rather prosperity), we have a chance to see how our children can take care of themselves, how competent they are to organize their life, maintain health and provide security.

Let's go through all the layers of Maslow’s pyramid of needs and think about how and in what each of us can strengthen our children in the days of self-isolation.
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1. Basic physiological needs
Of course, our children can eat, dress, brush their teeth and wash their hands - but these competencies are not enough to ensure a decent life for themselves. What would be nice to teach children if they still do not know how?

Know at least approximately the price of basic products and essential goods.
Buy food according to the list, make this list, make sure that the most necessary things (soap, shampoo, cereals, sugar, etc.) do not end at home.
Cook yourself simple dishes (scrambled eggs, porridge, salad, pasta).
Brew tea, make lemonade, drink enough water without a reminder.
Lunch on time, preferably not chips.
Maintain cleanliness in the room.
Do not miss morning exercises and five-minute sports.
Distinguish between clean and dirty clothes, fold and clean clean clothes, and throw dirty clothes into a laundry basket.
Plan your day, think over your wardrobe, prepare notebooks, books and everything you need for the next online lesson.
Tip: experience shows that self-isolation is most convenient to live in hard conditions. Every morning, to make a bed, comb your hair, maintain order, establish housekeeping, kitchen, cleanliness in the bathroom - all this will help everyone to cover their basic needs and stay in good shape.
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2. The need for security
We are good parents, we care about children. But sometimes it makes sense to let them take care of themselves. To do this, repeat all the safety rules in force in peacetime and add new ones that are needed now, during isolation.

Do children remember to lock the door to the apartment? Remember who and when to open the door, and to whom not? Passwords and passwords? What to do if the door is suddenly slammed, the key is broken?
What if someone in the house cut himself? Burnt? Got sick? Hit your head? How to call an ambulance? What pill to drink if your stomach or head hurts? And what tablets should never be drunk without a doctor's prescription?
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And what is going on at our place? Why is it impossible for small toys to lie under my feet, for the floor to be wet? How to open windows, how to close the door to a room to prevent accidents? Is everything at home in order - maybe it’s worth moving household chemicals to a more reliable place or removing knives away from younger children?
What about the protective measures against the virus? How to wash your hands? Who should wear and not wear masks? Why can’t you drink from common dishes even with your mother?
Invite children to think about the ergonomics of your home. For the time of isolation, your home should be convenient for everyone. Let the children rearrange the books at home so that the most needed ones are at hand, let them figure out where to store the cereals and pasta, so as not to climb on the stepladder and not drop cans of cocoa and dried fruits on their heads.
3. The need for love and acceptance
And again: we are very good parents and therefore we will do our best to create an atmosphere of unconditional acceptance at home. Children really need to feel that they love, listen, have an interest in what they say and do - by birth right, regardless of how they wrote math and how they cleaned their room.

Our mistake is only that we completely and completely take on the task of creating a host environment. Meanwhile, starting from the age of three, children can already contribute to the formation of the same “weather in the house”.

Agree on the rules. When mom works, she can't play with you. When dad takes a computer, we don’t watch cartoons. When I have a hot frying pan in my hands, we do not scream and do not make sudden movements. This does not mean that we love you less, just to live together, you need to live like this.
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Take a closer look at each other. Try to notice at least five points during the day when we are genuinely delighted with our loved ones, their skills, talents, when we especially liked their joke or gesture. Talk about what you notice, praise, compliment.
Get a book of complaints and suggestions. If something goes wrong - write about your complaints. In the evening, read and sort out the problems together, find solutions together.
Think of how not to annoy each other. If someone in the family loves to sing, or click their tongue, or do something else that interferes with others, find a way for one to retire, and for the other to calmly do what they like. You can organize a room for solitary affairs and make an hourly schedule so that everyone can enjoy solitude at least a couple of hours a day.
Tip: unconditional acceptance is very helpful with a good memory. If someone from the household begins to lose their balance, help him remember the most pleasant and blessed moments that you lived together.


4. Needs for respect and communication

Everyone needs to be able to choose a company for communication. Fortunately, today a three-week house arrest does not mean that you will only communicate with dad, mom, sisters and brothers. But do our children guess that their communication is in their hands?
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Let’s check on the points what a child can do to pump his basic need for receiving information, talking and being heard.

Become a family googler. Ask your child to look for information for yourself and for you: cake recipe, weather forecast, a memo on how to take an analysis for coronavirus. The child will feel part of a big deal: is this not the way to universal respect?
Master all available instant messengers. Teach parents to use Zoom. Connect grandparents to online family dinners and tea parties.
Invite friends to an online party. Take the time to play the mafia or naval battle together on the Internet.
Arrange all of the above so as not to interfere with the whole family: put on headphones, go to another room, choose a convenient time for your communication, close the door behind you. Simple rules, without which respect and communication are simply impossible.